This post was originally published on this site.
It’s finally happened. After years of studying higher education and teaching thousands of students, I’m now the parent of a high school senior who’s running the so-called college admissions gauntlet.
Earlier this month I attended a parent meeting at his Philadelphia public school and listened as an experienced educator told us, “At some point during this process you will hate your child. There’s no way around it.” No way. I adore this human, who started life at barely 4 lbs and has emerged into a thoughtful, sensitive man with a love for soccer and his long-term girlfriend. Why would I let anything, especially something as absurdly over-valued like “college search,” get in the way?
We started our process about a year ago by talking about what his college will cost, since I’ve extensively documented the consequences of paying too much. His 12-year-old cat is named Pell, and my son met Bernie Sanders when I was helping Congress work on making college free, so he’s not surprised that I’m unwilling to overpay. We know that spending exorbitantly doesn’t equate with good parenting, so we don’t intend to make a “perfect” institution work at any cost. Instead we’re centering the scientific evidence that– as a white male from a well-off and highly-educated family– he’s going to have a wonderful future regardless of where he goes to school. We’ve also talked about the importance of living our values, which include tikkun olam (repair the world), by leaving the scarce seats at well-resourced institutions to students who really need and would benefit from them (for example, his classmates from Philadelphia’s African American, Latine, and Southeast Asian communities, whose college decisions can substantially impact their odds of social mobility).
Even so, it’s been hard to stay quiet as my son is subjected to the snobbery and elitism pervading our culture, here in Philadelphia and beyond. Why, he was asked, hadn’t his mom hired a private SAT tutor and college admissions consultant? So many of his friends are focused on the University of Pennsylvania, the so-called “best” school in our city even though it rejects 95% of applicants. Why isn’t he applying, they wonder? Meanwhile, we didn’t hear any discussion at that parent meeting about the Community College of Philadelphia, Temple University, or West Chester, our local publics, so I’m not surprised that our son recently observed he won’t feel “accomplished” if he chooses one of those.
In the midst of this process, LinkedIn led me to a new tool created by several Philly area experts who urge us to “forget the rankings” and engage in a values-driven process that helps students choose from the full array of 4,000+ colleges and universities, rather than the 12-15 everyone talks about. I’m glad they aren’t asking us to substitute one set of “bad” rankings for another, but rather calling for a much broader cultural shift. Creators Jared Epler and Jen Vallieres are fighting against college searches that steal joy. No, we don’t have to hate our child.
According to Jared and Jen, the work starts by prioritizing students’ well-being and empowering them to identify and act on their values. Those values can include an education that is affordable at a place that values basic needs security. It might also include attending an institution that cares about inclusion and mental health, so makes getting in as easy as possible, even expanding the number of students it can serve each year and supporting professors to teach students from a wide range of backgrounds.
“Forget the rankings” uses good old-fashioned cards and a workbook (plus a website) to help students think about what matters. There’s never been a more important time, as the number of universities behaving badly keeps rising, deliberately driving up applications with the goal of simply rejecting them. Look past scarcity and focus on abundance by exploring colleges you can afford and enjoy experiencing– these are solid ideas operationalized through the tool’s process.
Making the college search human-centered sounds idealistic, and maybe it is. But it’s no more idealistic than calling for higher education to recognize and support students as humans first, and I’ve been succeeding in that campaign for a long time. Parents can partner with our teenagers in active resistance, being clear with our friends, family, and neighbors that success has nothing to do with beating a low acceptance rate or posting a well-known college logo on social media. My hope is that our son goes to a college that cares about educating him, rather than one that simply feeds his ego. Stay tuned…
Dr. Sara Goldrick-Rab is author of Paying the Price, College Costs, Financial Aid, and the Betrayal of the American Dream, senior fellow at Education Northwest, adjunct professor at the Community College of Philadelphia, and founder of Believe in Students and The Hope Center for College, Community, and Justice.