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Is AI taking your job? Maybe, maybe not. Are you going to be replaced by a robot? Maybe, maybe not. The future of technology certainly won’t be determined by your personal level of anxiety around it.
Your fretfulness also won’t determine your place in a reorg, it won’t make a difference in how threatening that new competitor turns out to be, and it’s certainly not going to impact how much your Crypto is worth. Yet, here we are (I’m with you on this) fretful. Despite knowing that anxiety and worry are not helping us, we often find ourselves mired in it.
Your mind is a powerful thing, but it takes some direction to serve you in the way you need it to. Just like you’ve learned to be intentional with behavior and relationships, be intentional with your thoughts.
Here are 4 questions to ask yourself when you start to spiral, to quiet fear and reclaim your power.
“What if it goes awesome?”
You’ve undoubtedly spent hours contemplating the risk. Indulge your mind to consider an optimistic alternative, at least for a minute. For example, before your pitch, you may start to think “What if everyone laughs at my idea?” Interrupt your thought cycle with the prospect of, “What if it goes awesome and everyone loves it?” It will feel uncomfortable to think this at first; it’s a new thought pattern and mentally awkward. Articulating the upside, in detail, enables you to be more confident and courageous before bold action. The risk is still there, it’s just not monopolizing your brain space.
“What’s the worst that happens?”
When you actually spellout the worst-case scenario (the job doesn’t work out, you don’t like it, you come crying back to your current employer, whatever it is) you may find it’s not as scary as the pit in your stomach would lead you to believe. Odds are, no one is going to assault you or put up a billboard with your face on it that says ‘idiot.’ Pinpointing what you’re afraid of, instead of sitting in the feeling of ‘general fear’ enables you to think more clearly.
“What would I tell my best friend to do?” (Or sibling, or partner, or random help-seeker on Reddit).
When you’re in the throws of anxiety, objectivity is difficult to muster. Temporarily imagining someone else in your situation is a psychological distancing technique. It works because the (imagined) detachment from the situation enables you to think more rationally. If your best friend came to you anxious, you’d hype them up, point out all the positive elements, and encourage them to believe in themselves. It’s easy to do from the outside.
“What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?”
You don’t have to actually do it, just think about it. The prompt reveals what’s deep in your heart, beneath your anxiety. When anxiety becomes too loud, we emotionally disconnect from our ambitions and aspirations. There’s nothing to latch on to beyond the immediate threat of risk. Rekindle your daydreams and give your brain an incentive to overcome anxiety.
Allowing the voice of fear to overtake your aspirations doesn’t always happen in one big moment, like turning down a job. It happens in the small moments, like deciding not to speak up in a meeting, not raising your hand to champion a project, or not asking for an intro to someone you want to know. It’s a thousand tiny choices to stay on the sidelines that, over time, will (incorrectly) convince you, that the sidelines are where you belong.
It takes continued awareness and effort
Despite writing these prompts and making a diligent effort to use them in my own life, anxiety still keeps me up at night. More often than I’d like to admit. When none of the brain hacks work, I remind myself of this metaphor:
It’s often said that elephant handles will train a baby elephant to be submissive by chaining them to a stake in the ground when they’re young. The baby elephant tries to break free, day after day and eventually gives up because it’s too weak. The elephant grows, years pass, and the elephant remains chained to the stake. But at this point, the elephant weighs thousands of pounds. It’s more than capable of ripping the stake out of the ground with little effort.
Yet, the grown elephant never attempts because it believes the stake in the ground is too strong. After some reflection, you may come to realize that the only thing holding you back from your next play is your own fears, beliefs, and anxiety.
Quieting anxiety doesn’t guarantee you’ll make each move with 100% confidence, and it doesn’t mean you’ll make the right move every time. It means that even if you’re afraid, even in the face of ambiguity or unrest, you move forward.
You are the owner of your destiny. You have the power to overcome fear, step into uncertainty, and lead yourself to something greater.
This guest post was authored by Elizabeth Lotardo
Elizabeth Lotardo helps organizations drive emotional engagement. She is a consultant, writer, and training creator who has worked with leaders at every level in over 150 organizations including Salesforce, DraftKings, Hilton, and numerous Berkshire Hathaway organizations. She’s designed programs for senior leaders, frontline managers, and entry-level teammates that enable everyone to create more purpose-driven work experiences. Elizabeth is a wildly popular LinkedIn Learning Instructor, with millions of views on her courses like Leading without Formal Authority, Finding Your Purpose at Work, and Leading Yourself. She has a bachelor’s degree in advertising from Boston University and a master’s in Industrial and Organizational Psychology and is a contributor for Harvard Business Review. Her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal and on NPR.
Elizabeth’s newest book, Leading Yourself is about creating meaning, joy, and opportunities at work, even when your job is far from perfect. She’s also the co-author of Selling With Noble Purpose.
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