New Year’s Eve: A Celebration of Time, Tradition, and Total Absurdity

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New Year’s Eve—arguably the only night where it’s perfectly acceptable to kiss strangers, wear sequins without reason, and attempt resolutions you know you’ll abandon by January 3rd. It’s a time of joy, hope, reflection, and, let’s face it, a lot of human folly.

But what do we really know about this universal celebration? Let’s dive into some little-known facts, hilariously dumb things humans have done to ring in the new year, and bizarre drink concoctions you probably shouldn’t try (but might anyway).

Little-Known Facts About New Year’s Traditions

The Calendar Confusion

Did you know that January 1 wasn’t always the start of the new year? In ancient Rome, the new year began in March, aligned with the planting season. It wasn’t until 46 BCE that Julius Caesar introduced the Julian calendar and declared January 1 as the start of the new year. Even then, it took centuries for many cultures to adopt it.

The Ball Drop’s Low-Tech Beginnings

The iconic Times Square ball drop began in 1907, but it wasn’t exactly high-tech. The first ball was made of iron and wood, weighed 700 pounds, and was lit by 100 incandescent light bulbs. Today’s version is a 12-foot, 11,875-pound crystal-covered spectacle.

Weird Traditions Around the World

Denmark: People throw old plates and dishes at the doors of friends and family to bring good luck. The bigger the pile of broken crockery outside your house, the more popular you are.

Spain: At midnight, it’s customary to eat 12 grapes—one for each chime of the clock. Missing a grape supposedly dooms you to bad luck.

Japan: Buddhist temples ring their bells 108 times to symbolize cleansing the 108 earthly desires in Buddhist beliefs.

Examples of Humans Being Stupid on New Year’s

The Year the Y2K Bug Made Everyone Panic

Remember New Year’s Eve 1999? The world collectively freaked out, convinced that computers would crash and civilization would collapse because they couldn’t handle the year rolling over to 2000. Spoiler: Nothing happened, but people stocked up on canned goods like it was the apocalypse.

Fireworks Gone Wrong

Every year, someone decides they’re a pyrotechnics expert after a few drinks. From launching fireworks out of their hands (ouch) to setting fire to roofs, humanity’s relationship with fireworks and alcohol is a disaster waiting to happen.

The “Let’s Swim in Freezing Water” Crowd

Polar plunges—where people dive into icy water to welcome the new year—are a thing in many countries. While invigorating, they also lead to hypothermia and ER visits for the unprepared. Pro tip: Wet suits exist for a reason.

Drunk Texting and Regrets

New Year’s Eve is the unofficial Olympics of bad decisions. From texting exes to confessing undying love to people you don’t actually like, alcohol + nostalgia + midnight = chaos.

Odd or Strange Drink Concoctions to Ring in the New Year

The Prairie Oyster

Feeling brave? This “hangover cure” cocktail involves a raw egg yolk, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, salt, pepper, and a splash of vinegar. Some people drink it for luck. Others drink it because they lost a bet.

The Cement Mixer

A party dare that no one actually enjoys. This shot involves Baileys Irish Cream and lime juice. The acid in the lime causes the Baileys to curdle in your mouth, creating a chunky, horrifying experience.

The Smoker’s Cough

Ready to ruin your taste buds? This vile concoction combines Jägermeister and mayonnaise. Yes, mayonnaise. No, it’s not a joke.

Champagne and Red Bull

For those who want to toast the new year while feeling like their heart might explode, this combo delivers both celebration and regret.

Snake Wine

Popular in parts of Southeast Asia, this drink is made by infusing rice wine with a whole snake—venom included. It’s said to have medicinal properties, but mostly it’s just a conversation starter for the brave (or reckless).

And NO, you don’t want to try any of those!

Why Do We Keep Doing This Every Year?

Despite the absurdity, New Year’s Eve holds a unique place in our collective psyche. It’s a chance to reflect on the past, dream about the future, and—for better or worse—let loose. Whether you’re watching fireworks, eating grapes, or attempting a Cement Mixer shot, the beauty of New Year’s is its universality.

So, as you prepare to celebrate, take a moment to appreciate the ridiculousness and joy of it all. And remember: the best resolutions are the ones you don’t announce on social media.

Things You Definitely Should NOT Do on New Year’s Eve

Light Fireworks Indoors

You’d think this wouldn’t need saying, but every year someone tries. Fireworks belong outside, far away from curtains, carpets, and people who value their eyebrows.

Mix Every Liquor You Own into One Drink

The “everything-but-the-kitchen-sink” cocktail is not a fun experiment. It’s a one-way ticket to nausea and a terrible New Year’s Day.

Climb Anything Tall “For a Better View”

Whether it’s a rooftop, a ladder, or a statue, gravity doesn’t care about your holiday spirit. Stay grounded—literally.

Propose on a Whim

Yes, the champagne and fireworks make everything feel magical, but if you weren’t planning to propose before the countdown, maybe wait until you’re sober to make life decisions.

Try to Out-Eat a Midnight Feast Challenge

A dozen grapes at midnight is cute. A dozen tacos or an entire wheel of cheese? Not so much. Don’t let overconfidence ruin the party.

Drive Drunk or Let Someone Else Do It

This one’s serious: Call a rideshare, appoint a designated driver, or just crash on a friend’s couch. Starting the year safely is always the best choice.

Start a Deep Philosophical Debate at 11:59 PM

“What is time, really?” is not the vibe when everyone else is shouting, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” Save your existential musings for another day.

New Year’s Eve is about fun, not regret. So, keep your night memorable for the right reasons—cheers to that!

A New Year’s Challenge

This year, skip the drunken fireworks mishap and try something new:

• Write a letter to your future self to open next year.

• Make a gratitude list instead of a resolution list.

• Call an old friend instead of texting an ex.

Whatever you do, have fun, stay safe, and make sure someone is sober enough to remember the good times. Happy New Year!